I hate being treated like a girl
I hate having my heavy bags picked up by boys
I hate being escorted home late at night
I hate being judged for drinking
I hate having to drink beer out of a wine glass coz I’m wearing a salwar kameez when my cousins wear suits and drink beer out of a bottle
But I won’t wear the suit
I hate being stared at when I wear a short skirt
I hate being started at
I love being flattered
It’s always fun to be hit on
I hate being told I’m a girl
I hate being reminded I’m a girl
I hate being aware that I’m a girl at every living moment
I love being pampered
I hate being taken for granted that I want to be taken care of because I’m a girl
But I love the skirt, I won’t wear the suit
I hate being told to do something because I should
I hate having to explain myself to people I don’t care for
I hate having to explain myself to people I do
I hate being treated like I have no feelings
I cry
I hate being helpless
I hate having to stand and watch
I hate being scared
I hate being reminded about what I never forgot
I hate having to listen when I don't want to
I hate peer pressure
I love being left alone
I hate being uncared for
I hate being put on a pedestal
I hate when my world is treated as a faraway land
I love my world
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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16 comments:
i don't want to say it's well written, nor do i want to offer my sympathies; but, i feel miserable about the way you feel.
dude...right on...now your living... intense///
you're also very confused.
aaditya
don't feel miserable, i don't
mahamachhar
it's not confusion
it's about that very thin line
and shades of grey
I know your grey its mine, its ours
I have done the boy sports then a girlish giggle,
the beer bottle with the short skirt
the flirting and going home
alone cause I want to and can.
Dont know how long I will be safe.
They say you havta pick a side...
do we really havta?
I say there's way too much hatred girl!!
Whatever happened to Love?
Like Paul said:
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how
to play the game. It's easy.
Nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how
to be you in time. It's easy.
All you need is love. All you need is love.
as strange as it may seem, and characteristically "confusing" of my blog, it isn't hatred
it's claustrophobia
but not a claustrophia that suffocates
it's life, i guess
I hate it when you get home late and i am already at mine
I hate when you get drunk and i am not
I hate it when your wearing a skirt and i'm stuk in a suit
I hate it when i hav to escort you home cos i am supposed to be protecting you
I hate it when your feelings are more true
I hate it when your pissed cos basically i'm just scared
I hate it when your hit on cos i cant see why
Most of all i hate it when you say your a girl cos i didnt know that
But the most of all i adore you for all the things i just said "I hate"
:)
P.S:- darling your no longer a girl , your a woman and just do things your way,i'll always be thr providin you with a bottle of beer, but thts only after i've gotten mine
hmm thanks.
but i AM a girl (/woman, patayto pataato)
and we live amongst people and thats what makes the shades of grey.
there are days when ive done that beer in the bottle in a short skirt, and then there are those when i drank it out of a wine glass.
you can never always do as you please to.
and again, i'm not a guy.
Vasun baby! I KNOW! I have that feeling too..
I am not much of a short skirt person, but when I did wear it once, my ex said, "oh my god! everyone is staring at ur legs", and that was it! For some reason, cant seem to wear them things again!
I want to go alone, but, I want to be escorted.. I want to drink & get drunk and I want to be hit on when I am sober..
Now all you need to do is connect the first and second blog entries. While they are different in some sense, they have a very similar theme.
While we are the rational questioning generation, we like some aspects of the irrational because of the comfort we feel. Its along the lines of acceptance (and this being the genuine one) and defiance/questioning that we all lie on, and its a personal choice as to where we would like to stand and a personal situation as to what circumstances we end up in.
The shades of grey come from the black and the white (yin-tang) and it is in this conflict that we exist (live). Without it there would only be black and white which is direclty opposed to being human.
So, the love and the hate are what define you, they are neither sad nor happy, neither good nor bad, neither right nor wrong. Enjoy the idiosuncracies of life becuase those are the brain teasers that keep us going.
yeah that's really well put, probably what i was struggling to say in all my responses to the comments.
It's never possible to separate the yin from the yang, it's one whole yin-yang that is life.
well written vasun...this is the feeling we live with everyday..and I will not hesitate in sharing something with you. I was speaking to someone the other day about this constant vigilance that I have to live with, during a discussion on women's safety..and I will not deny the fact that I did not use the word 'hate' I still used the word 'fear'. There was this passive tone I was talking with..a kind of helplessness and I realized it just now after reading your blog..I do live with hope..hope to be free..hope to live the way I want to..but sometimes, it is hard to explain to people that you are not asking for sympathy..but for them to understand. I am happy to be who I am..but sometimes get sick of explaining to people that I hate it when this is messed with.
beautiful poem Vasundhra...can relate to this completely- around 2-3 years back for myself...have sorted out some of the issues, left some midway, grappling with some more ...its all been worth it and so much fun..(well, on retrospect!lol).. feel so proud of another woman feeling the reality of being a woman here and teeming with life and strength- sad for all that is terrible but not dejected still- so firm and proud of her hope, her life, her confidence and her self...way to go girl!! loved it.
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